RetributionArc: The Killing Love, The Healing Love
by Nemi
Summary: What would happen if X hurt his lover, Zero? (Not part of M&S (if I ever finish it)) YAOI! m/m action. rape fic, Zero torture, cursing...I could go on, check the top for extra details. Also, tissue warning. Don't read this if you are squikable.
1. Pessum ire Credo

I own nothing. I don't even own the poem at the bottom. This is for no more profit than the wealth of reviews and flames that I shall get.  
  
Hope-sama wrote about 30% of the fic, Pink wrote the triad at the end when X is trying to find the pull out bed, Gale wrote the poem. Kittykat provided some ideas.  
  
Everything but the poem was edited by me, some times heavily. And I did the crappy ASCII 'art'.  
  
I would like to thank everyone and Kittykat for betaing this for me.  
  
And, there is no word to describe how I feel, but it goes beyond thankfulness, this feeling is more than thankfulness as the universe is infinitely larger than a grain of sand. And all this is directed to Gale, my Gale who touched my heart and soul enough that the kindness and happiness she projected into me managed to burn though my sadness to allow for a bittersweet ending. Thank you, From the bottom of my heart, from the twisted depths of my mind, from the extremities of my soul, thank you my Galey-chan. May you find someone who truely deserves your kisses.  
  
The titles are from skrewing around with an English to Latin dictionary. They should translate to something like 'Destroyed Trust, Broken Heart, Shattered Soul, Life-Giving Love'  
  
Unfort I got the tenses all wrong.  
  
And now for the warnings.  
  
This has cursing. This is about Yaoi, Physical Rape, Mental Rape (though I don't go too deep into it), and Torture. It also has some traces of S/M (sadomasochism sadism and masochism), D/s (Domination and submission), and Bondage. None of it consensual. This is a Zero Torture fic. However it has something of a happy ending. Get your tissues out.  
  
  
  
The Killing Love, The Healing Love  
  
  
  
Chapter One: Pessum ire Credo  
  
  
  
Zero sighed happily and pressed tightly up to X's body. He felt safe and secure with his best friend so close beside him. A wave of pleasure surged through him as he felt X wrap his arms around him and hug him tightly.   
  
"Mm… you're warm…" X whispered.   
  
Zero lifted his head off X's chest and smiled down at him. "Are you cold, love?"   
  
"Um… do I want to be?"   
  
Zero laughed softly and stroked his beloved's cheek. "I'll warm you up, X…" He leaned down and their lips brushed together.   
  
X grinned and gently twirled Zero's golden locks through his fingers. A deep kiss followed, causing X's heart to pull tight within his chest wanting nothing more than to stay with his best friend.   
  
When both reploids broke their kiss to lie close together, Zero nestled his head under X's chin and closed his eyes. He always felt so relaxed and peaceful around his best friend. It was truly a gift from fate that one such as he, the red demon, could find such peace.  
  
X's gaze turned towards the ceiling as he held Zero close to him. A cold chill ran up his back as worries and other types of second thoughts started wavering through his mind.   
  
Not to say he didn't love Zero; he did. With all his heart. There was no doubt about that. He'd grown quite attached to the blond-haired jerk after everything they'd been through.   
  
X sighed. It was just that if anyone found out that they were together, they'd never hear the end of it. X winced as he thought of Hope. She'd either be furious… or she'd be thrilled. X smiled slightly. She WAS always hinting to him how good of couple he and Zero made after all…  
  
X glanced over to the digital clock on his dresser. 5:27. "Morning already…" he murmured more to himself than to Zero.   
  
His thoughts turned to the recent increase of Maverick attacks. Hell, there had probably been twenty just the other day. Maybe even more. A wave of regret and disgust washed over him at the thought of so much violence and bloodshed. X swallowed. But… it was necessary for him to fight… to protect all those that he held dear. X glanced down at his friend, who was sleeping serenely by now. He smiled warmly. And not forgetting that he was the greatest Hunter the base had to offer. That played a big role in his life of hunting down Maverick baddies.   
  
Very gently, trying not to startle Zero awake since he was a very light sleeper and even the softest noise or touch could wake him, he slid out of the bed and slipped on a bathrobe. He turned back to his friend, leaned down and kissed him tenderly on the forehead. "Sweet dreams, dear…" he whispered. X pulled the covers over him, making sure that he was warm and left their room to go take a shower.   
  
* * * *  
  
X frowned and stood quite restlessly as he listened to Dr. Cain jabber on and on about how that now there were more Maverick attacks going on, the Hunters would have to train twice as hard… blah, blah, blah. X kept shifting his weight from one gigantic boot to the other and fidgeted unprofessionally.   
  
"STAND STILL!" Dr. Cain shouted suddenly whacking X over the head with his cane. And it hurt too, since X wasn't wearing his helmet at the present time.   
  
X yelped and jumped back holding his head in pain.   
  
"Did you even hear a word I said?" Dr. Cain asked gravely.  
  
"Of course I did…" X growled in a rather pissed off tone. "This obsession you have of rough physical contact to my head is rather annoying. I must ask you to stop."   
  
Dr. Cain tried not to, but laughed anyway. "Heh… I love your sense of humor X!" He nudged him.  
  
X scowled. "Did I say something funny?"   
  
Just then Zero came dashing up to them, crimson armor glossy and ponytail bouncing. "Hey you two!"   
  
"Hey Zero…" A small teasing smile appeared on X's lips. "Did you sleep well last night?"   
  
Zero blushed vaguely and quickly turned his head away from Dr. Cain. "Sure did X! Better than most nights…" He laughed softly.   
  
X eyes turned back to Dr. Cain, searching his face for any suspicion. But there was none.   
  
Dr. Cain just shook his head. "Kids…"   
  
Good. X really didn't want anyone knowing about him and Zero yet… It would be horrible if Dr. Cain found out. He shuddered.  
  
He could see it now. Dr. Cain hosting one of those nature shows where they videotape behaviors of wild animals and talk about them, only it would be about their 'mating habits'.  
  
It was almost funny.  
  
X turned his attention back to Dr. Cain. "We think we have found a base of operations for the current attacks."  
  
Zero stood up a tad straighter. "'A base' not 'the base'; implying there may be more?"  
  
Dr. Cain nodded. "We think that they have been setting up numerous small bases so to better attack us."  
  
X shook his head. "I wouldn't go so far as to call them attacks, they are going after us and not so much the humans, more like skirmishes to keep us off balance, this isn't the way Mavericks usually act."  
  
Zero agreed, "Usually they either hit and run or make huge fortresses, but from what we've experienced, reports, and what the Doc says they've been 'nesting'."  
  
"I doubt they even have a leader, the attacks don't even make much of a dent."  
  
Zero had his reservations about that observation; if you looked at the attacks as a whole it became clear that they were well planned--if the Hunters did not intercept human death counts skyrocketed.  
  
"All noted, but I want you two to take a squad and clean out the biggest 'nest' we found so far." Dr. Cain brought up a large map on the screen. "It's a large warehouse in the northeastern quarter; we've pulled up blueprints and we know that it's three stories with two basements."  
  
"Mavs have probably redecorated," Zero muttered.  
  
"Check, watch out for traps," X said with genuine concern.   
  
Zero smirked. "Don't I always?"   
  
X rolled his eyes.  
  
Dr. Cain cleared his throat. "We want you to take a squad in. This should be a very straight forward, good mission for rookies."  
  
Zero leveled his gaze at him and said flatly, "Never underestimate a Maverick. And only one squad?"  
  
Dr. Cain pressed his lips together. "We can't spare anymore, everyone is keeping watch for more attacks. We're hoping that you two can provide enough power so one squad is enough."  
  
X cleared his throat this time. "Um, we'll take a mix, some rookies and some vets, they need to keep their skills sharp just as much as rookies need to learn them."  
  
Dr. Cain nodded. "Okay. You two get going… and don't screw up."  
  
Zero kept serious for about three seconds and then a goofy grin slipped across his face.   
  
X threw a hand over his mouth before he could burst out laughing. "Shut up…" he hissed. Then he looked back at Dr. Cain. "We WON'T. Don't worry. So, we'll be leaving now."  
  
Dr. Cain watched them in confusion as X yanked the snickering Zero out of the room VERY quickly.   
  
* * * *  
  
Zero leaned back against the wall of a building and waved his hand to his half of the squad while X's half were ready to provide cover fire. Zero rushed the door with his half-a-squad a few steps behind him and kicked down the door, Beam Sabre at ready looking around.  
  
Nothing. He nodded to a Hunter near him who darted out the door and waved the other half in.  
  
Zero turned to X when he entered. "My team will take top side, you take the basement."  
  
X nodded. "The ground should absorb any stray plasma bolts down there instead of destroying a neighborly building."  
  
They split up.  
  
* * * *  
  
Second floor and there was nothing, no drones, no turrets, not even a met--/nothing/.  
  
Zero motioned for the three other reploids to be still and listened. No sounds from above them; not even the buzz of electricity. "This isn't right. This is a set up."  
  
Zero's eyes widened. "X!"  
  
* * * *   
  
X groaned and opened his eyes. Weakly, he climbed to his hands and knees. "Damn…" He glanced up to see the bodies of his squad very, very dead. "Why didn't I see this?" he berated himself. "I should have… known…" His head was throbbing horribly. Almost as if someone had pounded on it with a sledgehammer.   
  
Vile, who was standing over his enemy, perhaps waiting for him to wake up wishing to see his face as he died. "You stupid Hunter!" A twisted grin appeared on Vile's face under his helmet. "I'll enjoy watching you die Mega Man X…"  
  
X shut his eyes tightly, pain shooting through him everywhere. His hand clenched into a fist.  
  
"Hold it Vile!"  
  
Vile and the rest of the Maverick Unit whirled around to see Zero and his squad. "You!"  
  
Zero grinned. "Yes, me."   
  
"Kill them all! Zero and X are mine!"  
  
The two squads engaged in combat. Zero immediately started to run over to his friend. "X!"  
  
Vile stepped in his path. "I don't think so, blondie."   
  
Zero scowled. "Step aside Vile!" He activated his Beam Sabre. "I won't let you hurt X!"  
  
Unbeknownst to the two fighters, X picked himself up off the ground, his arm cannon sparking and leaking fluids. He began forcing all of his remaining energy into his arm-cannon. "Eat plasma, Vile…" He let loose, the plasma burning his circuits.  
  
Vile cried out in surprised agony as he felt the blast strike him full force. He stumbled back, and fell to the cold basement floor hard with half his chest blown in. "Retreat," he croaked out to his Unit. They teleported away, Vile's glowing eye seemingly--amused?  
  
Zero grinned appreciatively.  
  
X stumbled and started to collapse.  
  
"X!" Zero rushed forward and grabbed his friend. "X… are you all right?"  
  
X smiled weakly. "I'll be okay… If you can survive being blown up I can survive this…" He gave Zero's hand a squeeze and drifted out of consciousness.  
  
Zero bit his bottom lip. Slowly, he stood straight, X in his arms. "Let's go," he whispered to the squad behind him. They all teleported back to base.  
  
* * * *  
  
Sigma was having the time of his life rummaging though X's memories. Data and codes and all sorts of secrets were at his fingertips. Through the relay he could take control and shove X into the backseat anytime he wanted. Best of all, X would not be able to override him once he took over and they wouldn't be able to detect him by searching for the Maverick Virus.  
  
He would destroy X and he wouldn't have to lift a finger. But first to absorb more data and send it back to the base.  
  
Emotions flickered across X's mind and Sigma looked closer at them.  
  
Hello. What do we have here?  
  
Back at Maverick HQ the still body of Sigma stirred slightly. His lips twitched into a slight smirk.  
  
* * * *  
  
"WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED?!"  
  
Zero didn't flinch under Cain's bellow and answered, "Ambush, Vile was there."  
  
Dr. Cain swore creatively. Zero set X down on a table and queried him, "You're drunk; are you too drunk to fix him?" Dr. Cain glared nastily at Zero and grumbled while he checked X over.  
  
Dr. Cain picked up a few instruments and used a small vacuum like tool to hose out the oil in X's gut. "Tch, you two are getting out of practice. This is nasty, but he'll be fine with a repair and a rest."  
  
Dr. Cain banished X's armor except the damnaged buffer on his and connected together all the wires and replaced the small-destroyed parts in his abdomen cavity, cannon and arm. All very easily made repairs but quite deadly if not mended. Dr. Cain pressed a square of synth-skin to the gash to seal X up, leaving X blemish-less except for a hard to see seam where the square was.  
  
"Why isn't he awake?"  
  
Dr. Cain rolled his eyes in disgust and rapped X on the head with his cane.  
  
* * * *  
  
Sigma had the matrix now to bypass X and access X's memories as if they were his own instead of sorting though them like files on a computer. It was time to take control.  
  
He would destroy X's body and Zero's spirit. It was perfect.  
  
Sigma laughed to himself. He'd always expected it.  
  
X, X… you're a bad boy aren't you? Such naughty feelings up in here… Heh, well, I can't blame you. Zero is damnably pretty; he should be with me if he's with anyone though. The leader of the Mavericks and Wily's last creation. You two do make a cute couple nevertheless. But we'll see how long your little relationship lasts after I'm through with it… Humans say '/Carpe Deim/,' seize the day, I think it would be appropriate for me to say '/Carpe corpus/.'  
  
* * * *  
  
X bolted upright on the table, holding his head in his hands. "I asked you to STOP that, dammit!" He glared hatefully at Dr. Cain.  
  
"Whoa, whoa, chill out boy. I brought you out of a stasis lock. You should bow down to me and kiss my feet," Dr. Cain snorted.  
  
X laughed harshly. "On a cold day in hell, Doc."  
  
Zero's eyes widened a bit. He'd NEVER seen X speak to Dr. Cain that way. Zero also noticed a cold gleam in X's eyes that seemed almost--malignant.  
  
X jumped off the metal table he was on. "Move, Cain. I'm leaving."  
  
"But X…" Dr. Cain started.  
  
"_MOVE!_"  
  
Even though Dr. Cain was intoxicated, he could tell X meant business. He stepped out of the azure Hunter's path and watched him storm out the door. "What's up /HIS/ ass?" He muttered to himself and got back to other things that needed to be taken care of. Zero didn't even feel the inspiration to call up some memories or even to laugh.  
  
Zero ran out after him. "X!" he called, hoping to stop him.  
  
X flinched. Then, slowly, turned around to face his friend. "Zero?"  
  
Zero looked at him quizzically. "What… what was that about?" he asked.  
  
X grinned and suddenly lunged at his friend. Zero yelped as X pinned him against the wall. "Forget about it, Z… I'm just feeling kind of tired."  
  
"Oh… Okay…"  
  
X's hands slipped down Zero's waist. Lust danced in his eyes.  
  
Zero swallowed. "X… are you feeling all right?"  
  
"Never better," X responded. He grinned almost devilishly at him. "I'll see you later." Quickly, he pulled away from him and walked off.  
  
Zero watched him go, confused. "X has never acted like this before…" He frowned. "It's probably nothing…" Zero shook off the uneasy feeling he had and left for the training simulator.  
  
* * * *  
  
Zero pulled his head away and inhaled deeply. "X?!" X simply chuckled in a very non X-like manner and nuzzled under his chin while his hands held Zero's hips possessively.  
  
X's murmur was low and seductive, "Yes, Zero?"  
  
Zero placed his hands on X's shoulders and pushed him away so he could think. They were in their room. While he had been taking off his armor piece by piece simply because he found it relaxing and he wanted to sleep in a bed instead of a pod, X and snuck in silently and jumped him. "You usually aren't like this X."  
  
X stepped forward again and wrapped his arms around Zero's waist and kissed him very gently. "I'm sorry Zero. I'm just feeling a tad aggressive tonight." He nibbled on Zero's exposed skin right under his jaw, biting on it and gnawing just the side of it gently.  
  
Zero shivered, gasping slightly. X in an aggressive mood made for interesting nights. "O-okay."  
  
"Good," X's answer was half purr half growl as he pushed Zero to the floor, banishing his own armor and removing Zero's remaining armor-pieces and his clothing, kissing him intently.  
  
Zero barely noticed that his kisses were different than usual; he was so caught up with the sensations. His own hands reached up to help X, wanting to see his body as much as X wanted to see his.  
  
"So beautiful…" X whispered, removing the last piece of armor from Zero's body. "Perfect…" His hands gripped Zero's hips mercilessly.  
  
Zero hissed though his teeth. X's fingers pushed into his skin roughly, causing needles of sharp pain. "X… you're…"  
  
X slid up Zero's body and grinned down at him. "What's wrong?"  
  
Zero shivered slightly and recoiled. "N-nothing… X… it's just…"  
  
X cut him off by grabbing his chin aggressively and kissing him coarsely, forcing his tongue into his mouth.  
  
A chill ran through Zero's body. But, he ignored his uncertainties and sighed softly. X would /never/ hurt him.  
  
X let him go and immediately rubbed his hands gently over Zero's body. He kissed his chest, moved down to his stomach, then back up to his neck. "Pretty Zero… MY pretty Zero…" X crooned in his ear.  
  
You _BASTARD!_ You sick bastard! How can you be doing this to him?!  
  
X's mind cried out in disgust and frustration as he watched everything Sigma was doing to his best friend.  
  
Sigma smirked and laughed darkly.  
  
What's wrong? A bit too much for you?  
  
X nibbled longingly on Zero's earlobe.  
  
Zero felt his chest tighten. Something about the way X touched him felt so different than it usually did. He'd never felt… not degraded, X would never do something like that to him, but he felt--uncomfortable. "Um… X… I'm getting tired. I… I think I'm going to get to bed. You should rest up some too. After all, you had a rough day…"  
  
X frowned, feeling bitter. "Fine, Zero." He picked himself off him. Another devilish grin stretched across his face. "We'll have more fun tomorrow…"  
  
Zero swallowed. "Sure X…" Zero climbed to his feet. "Um… good night X…"  
  
"Good night," X said sincerely. He quickly pulled his clothes on and summoned his armor back and left the room.  
  
Zero shivered. He told himself because it was chilly. Zero threw on the most comfortable thing he could find flopped down in bed. He was quite exhausted.  
  
Zero stared at the door. He knew something was wrong… He just had no idea what it was… He shook his head and drifted off into sleep.  
  
* * * *  
  
Touch, glorious touch and sweet kisses. Zero mewed slightly and opened his eyes.  
  
"Good morning Zero," X said with a smile. "Didn't I say we were going to have fun today?"  
  
Zero's eyes widened. X was sitting on him, legs straddling his hips. He wondered how X had gotten where he was without waking him, since Zero knew quite well that he was a VERY light sleeper. His eyes darted to the right and saw the clothes he had been wearing last night piled up on the floor.  
  
How X pulled that off he'd never know.  
  
X leaned down and kissed him again.  
  
Zero moaned into his mouth and rested his hands on X's hips. Gentle, it was gentle. This was more like the X he knew. "You know, until I opened my eyes I was afraid that you were Iris," Zero said unable to keep the entire smirk off his face.  
  
X sniffed indignantly and drew himself up on his perch. He managed to look rather regal considering that he was nude. "Are you saying that I look like Iris?"  
  
Zero shuddered exaggeratedly, "Ye Gods no."  
  
X smirked, a very non-Xy thing, and kissed him again, hard, while sliding down his body. "I still have my aggressions left over from last night you know, and Cain said we have the day off."  
  
A strange sensation went down Zero's spine but he pushed it away and ignored it. He had the day off, with X, in bed. What could be wrong? He nodded agreeably. "I'm sorry for last night, you know."  
  
X smirked again. "How are you going to make it up to me?"  
  
Zero smiled and nuzzled up close to him.  
  
X hugged Zero possessively. "I promised you a good time…" X grinned menacingly. "So let's have fun." X pinned Zero down on the bed underneath him. His once gentle massages across his body felt more brash and forceful. X leaned into Zero's body agonizingly and bit into his neck hungrily; just enough to draw a bit of blood.  
  
A surge of fear ran through Zero. X was getting a bit rough-rougher than he'd ever been… Zero's shimmering, confused emerald eyes stared up at X nervously.  
  
X ignored his look of worry and roughly seized Zero's hips. He gripped them so tightly that Zero yelped in pain.  
  
"X! Wha-what are you doing?" Zero cried.  
  
X merely smiled and stroked Zero's cheek. "Shh… don't ruin the mood, Zero." He leaned in and kissed him deeply on the lips.  
  
Zero winced as X kissed him abusively, the tart, intoxicating, taste of his own oil, his own blood on his tongue. His chest heaved. He'd often try to coax X into being rougher into playing games with him… It was arousing, but it was starting to hurt-it wasn't X.  
  
Zero was very confused and slightly worried--and beneath all that he was scared.  
  
Zero… Oh, my God… Sigma! You're hurting him… Stop it!  
  
X's mind pleaded for Sigma to let up on the physical and mental torture he was inflicting on his best friend.  
  
Sigma laughed harshly.  
  
But it's so much fun X…  
  
Zero pushed weakly against X's chest, causing him to cut the kiss off. He panted and stared at him. "What's going on X? You're not yourself!"  
  
X frowned and sat up. "I'm fine Zero," he growled. "I told you that." X's eyes flashed dangerously. "Now be quiet." He planted his hands firmly on Zero's chest. X scowled down at him.  
  
Zero swallowed. It was the first time in his life that he'd ever felt scared of his beloved.  
  
But then, he was back to his old self, gently massaging Zero's shoulders. "I love you Zero… I love you so much…" he whispered soothingly.  
  
Zero felt the same chill run up his spine. He shook his head slowly. Maybe he was just jumping to conclusions. Still, Zero ached inside and hoped X would stay like this for a while. He didn't much like this rubber band effect that was going on.  
  
X nuzzled him again. "What's wrong Zero; don't you love me?"  
  
Zero's eyes widened. "Don't even suggest that I don't!"  
  
X smiled beatifically down at him and kissed his neck, nibbled on his collarbone while caressing his sides and flanks, causing Zero to pant and moan while arching up into his touch.  
  
X nuzzled his ear. "Do you want it Z? Do you want me in you?"  
  
Zero almost hesitated, but what did he have to worry about? His fear was quickly being forgotten under the onslaught of pleasure, and this was X. X would never hurt him in any way that mattered. He nodded, pushing his hips up slightly to let X feel just how much he wanted him.  
  
X kissed his way to Zero's chin then kissed his lips while taking his hips in both hands.br  
  
Don't you fucking dare Sigma! Don't you touch him!  
  
But X, he said I could! Today I make him mine, my toy. And when I break him there will be nothing left for you. Then I shall destroy both of these bodies. The Hunters won't stand a chance without you.  
  
With an unholy smile X harshly pushed into Zero without any preparation or warning.  
  
Zero's back arched to the point where it looked like he was about to snap in two while he clawed at X's shoulders. It was abrupt, it burned, and it hurt. If were human he would be bleeding, luckily he was a reploid. But, by God it hurt.  
  
"Shhhh…" X soothed him with simple words and kisses and he continued to move roughly inside of him. He hadn't even noticed he had been keening. He stared at the ceiling with eyes that were wide open and tear flecked.  
  
He whimpered as X wrapped around his waist then leaned forward over him forcing his knees to his shoulders. With one hand he pinned Zero's wrists above his head while the other tangled in Zero's hair and held him still. Rough kisses kept him from making any noise as X moved on--in him.  
  
Zero's body flexed, trying to expel the intruder within him, but as he did so the hand tangled in his hair tightened a little bit more so he eventually stopped. The only sounds now were X's groans and the wet sounds accompanying sex and kisses.  
  
But why was X hurting him? 


	2. Infractus Pectus

Again nothing is mine.  
  
would you belive that this fic was suposed to be a stand alone oneshot?  
  
and I'm sorry but the ASCII refuses to work. something about ffn makes everythign smooch together.  
  
Chapter Two: Infractus Pectus  
  
  
  
(one week later)  
  
Zero bit down on his bottom lip hard as he examined himself in the mirror. Stinging bruises covered his body. They throbbed horribly. He winced. He didn't bruise easily, even for a reploid. The sheer force required to do this to him…  
  
X's "aggressiveness" had been getting out of control over the last couple nights. He was heartbroken. "He's hurting me…" Zero whispered closing his eyes. "But why?" He pressed his lips together. "Bruises… If he really wanted to hurt me he could have… What if it was just an accident?" It was true; this wasn't the first time that they had left bruises on each other, even before X's change, but never this many or for so many nights in a row.  
  
He fingered a bruise right under his ribs. He had tried to push X away and X had punched him. Then, while he was doubled over, he had shoved him onto his desk and twisted his arms back so his wrists were between his shoulder blades. Then while pulling back on his hair he had used him.  
  
Zero remembered what his face had been pressed to. A few papers that needed to be filed had been within his gaze. They were commendations on bravery and honor for X and himself. And under his cheek there was a post-it note. When they had first fell in love with each other they had passed each other notes. Poetry and love letters had been passed with the mere shaking of hands.  
  
But this was the one that he had near him always, no matter what.  
  
_____________________________  
| |  
| |  
| |  
| Dear Zero, |  
| |  
| I Love You. |  
| |  
| -X |  
| |  
| |  
|____________________________|  
  
You couldn't make out the letters anymore because the ink had blurred from his tears.  
  
X had never hurt him like this before. Not this far, not to the extent that he actually started to take his days off to sleep. Not to the point where he had arranged for X to have outer patrol duty in one of the moderately dangerous sectors so he'd be exhausted and wouldn't come for him tonight.  
  
If X got hurt because of it he'd kill himself.   
  
In old human religions three was a magic number, a binding one. Zero supposed it was true. When he first met X he swore to protect him, to protect that innocence he saw in his eyes, that kindness, that raw determination. X was someone to look up to, if he hadn't had that determination reploids would probably be treated like slaves, but X had made it clear that they were just as 'human' as humans, he had won them the rights they had. Indeed, when X had the time he still fought in political circles and would most likely continue to fight until reploids were treated as equals to humanity. For the hope that X embodied, not just for all reploids, but for everyone, he had given his life to save him. He swore again to protect him when he woke up, alive, and found out what X did to bring him back. And he swore a third time when he admitted to himself that he loved him. It was only cemented further when X said that he loved him as well. He was bound, his oath was a part of his code, was a part of him. And he had never once broken his bound promise.  
  
Zero desperately wanted, needed, X to stop, to have him go back to being his friend that calmed him, that let him stop being the 'Crimson Hunter' and just be himself. But if he didn't know better, it was almost as if X wanted to rape him.   
  
Zero stood still, frozen in time.  
  
Admit it! You know the truth! Admit it!  
  
Zero shuddered. X was raping him. "How can I stop him though…?" Tears came to his eyes and he sank down on the bed. He'd never felt so helpless and weak in his life, he couldn't contemplate hurting X in any way consciously, he just couldn't.  
  
Besides, I deserved it. He had just been aggressive, then I had to go and… He rubbed his right arm where he was still burned from forcing X's buster on-and pointing it at him.  
  
He woken from a nightmare, featuring X, and half asleep had kicked and trashed and turned X's own arm cannon on him.  
  
X had punished him in every way he knew how to.  
  
And he had deserved it, he hadn't broken his promise-but he almost had, and he deserved everything he got.  
  
He sat down and hugged his knees to his chest. Get a hold of yourself! It isn't right! He shouldn't be hurting you! He shouldn't be raping you! It's wrong! X would never do that to you!  
  
But it still felt like he deserved it.  
  
Because I do.  
  
…But that doesn't mean that it's right.  
  
"I just wish… things would go back to the way they used to be…"   
  
His mind drifted back to just the other night. X had gone to extreme measures by tying his wrists and ankles together and then to the top of the headboard with titanium cord and violating him while looking in his eyes and grinning. The pain had been excruciating. Zero probably would have screamed the whole time if X hadn't taped his mouth shut. He found himself trembling. I'm afraid…  
  
Zero's body ached from the cruelty it had taken, but it was nothing compared to the hurt in his heart. Once he had thought X cared about him… now he wasn't too sure.   
  
He shivered and snuggled up under the covers, hoping that a good rest might make him better. Tears fell into the pillow as he softly cried himself to sleep, praying that X wouldn't come for him tonight.  
  
* * * *   
  
Once again X had him in a corner, nude and helpless; cowering before his best friend. X's was smile akin to that of a shark's, the twinkle in the darkness of his eyes matching his armor's shine, cold and heartless. He seemed to enjoy hunting Zero down, like a panther stalking his prey. "Zero… my pretty Zero…" X whispered lewdly as he played with Zero's hair.  
  
Zero tried to back away from him, but he had nowhere to go. "X… please… Just stop…"   
  
X narrowed his eyes and pulled him close by his hair while his other hand squeezed his upper arm. "'Stop'? What the hell do you mean? I've given you EVERYTHING…I gave you your life, I've given you your rights, you belong to me." The grip tightened and the metal endoskeleton groaned in a complaint to match that of it's owners.  
  
Zero felt tears fill his eyes. "X, you're hurting me! You're scaring me… Why are you doing this to me?"   
  
X didn't look pleased. "So… after everything I've done for you you're telling me this?" The grip on his arm increased. "I give you your life back, my undying love, and a place in my bed and THIS is how you repay me?!" X was thunderous by the end of his speech and Zero could hear the sounds of the metal and circuitry that were his muscles and skeleton creek ominously before bending and crushing under the pressure.  
  
"I… I'm sorry…"   
  
With a fast, solid movement, X punched Zero hard in the face. "You selfish little bitch."  
  
Zero reeled back, eyes full of betrayal and a hand to his cheek, which now was sporting a decent dent. "X…"   
  
"How dare you?!" X smirked evilly and hit him again, this time with the side of his plasma cannon instead of a fist. He charged it up and put it to Zero's head, smiling. Zero could fight back, he COULD. He was just as deadly without his armor and Beam Sabre as he was without it, but he just wouldn't raise a hand to X. "I'm going to kill you and rape your cold, dead body."   
  
His eyes filled with horror as he backed away; he wouldn't fight, but he could run.  
  
X sneered, "Weakling!"  
  
Zero took off running in fear of his life. He could hardly believe what was happening. The one person he ever truly loved and trusted, and thought loved and trusted him back, wanted to murder him.   
  
"You can't escape," X said smugly. "I'll find you wherever you go."   
  
Zero ran and ran and ran until a low-grade plasma bolt from X caught him in the back.  
  
"So… there you are." X grinned, suddenly standing in front of him.   
  
Zero's head snapped up. "X…" he choked out.   
  
"Goodnight sweetheart," X crooned, giving the last words a gut wrenching wind. A twisted grin appeared on his face. "I'll enjoy giving it to you one last time. And you'll enjoy taking it, won't you?"   
  
Zero's eyes widened.   
  
X fired.  
  
* * * *  
  
"NOOOO!" Zero screamed bolting upright. He panted heavily and looked around. He was in his room. "Only a dream…" he whispered in relief. He shut his eyes tightly. "My God… what's going to happen to me?"   
  
Zero breathed in deeply. "This has to stop… I have to do something…" He moaned as the pain from his battered body rushed forward again. "And I have to do it soon…" 


	3. Perfringo Animus

Do I have to say it again?  
  
It ain't mine!  
  
  
Chapter Three: Perfringo Animus  
  
  
  
Zero looked about as he walked towards Dr. Cain's office. He was jittery, easily spooked. Other Hunters noticed but didn't say anything out of respect. Taking one last look behind him, he darted into the room and closed the door quietly.  
  
"Zero! Is something wrong?"  
  
With a choked yelp, Zero jumped five feet up into the air and came down with a clatter. "Please don't do that," Zero said softly looking away from the doctor.  
  
"Now I know something is wrong, you never say 'please'. Now spill." Despite his words Dr. Cain was genuinely worried about Zero. He was jumpy, taking all of his days off and sometimes dipping into his huge pile of vacation leave that he had acquired. And from what he heard, X was the one getting Zero to do so.   
  
Typically he would have smiled upon this. But despite this, Zero was looking like he was getting less sleep and was more stressed.  
  
"S-some-something's wrong with X."  
  
Dr. Cain frowned. "What do you mean? I saw him just this morning and he looked fine."   
  
Zero tensed. "No… No, SOMETHING is DEFINITELY wrong with him…" Something has to be wrong with him!  
  
"From what I'm seeing something is definitely wrong with YOU."   
  
Zero swallowed. "If… if X was fine, would he be doing this me?" Zero asked earnestly, seemingly desperate for an answer to know that he wasn't deceiving himself, that X wouldn't do this to him. He started removing bits of his armor, chest-plate, arm guards, peeling back the sheet metal around his upper arms, revealing the ugly bruises across his body, the dent in his collarbone and a thousand more injuries. "He's been hurting me. I… I'm scared of him."   
  
Dr. Cain's eyes widened. He'd never seen Zero so distressed before. He examined the bruises carefully. "You say X did this to you?" he whispered.   
  
Zero nodded.   
  
"Why didn't you tell me sooner?! Why did you just let him thrash you like this?!" Dr. Cain exclaimed.   
  
Zero blushed. "He… he didn't exactly 'thrash' me…" His voice trailed off…   
  
Except that one time you deserved it.  
  
STOP IT!  
  
"What are you hiding Zero? Answer me!"   
  
"X has been… aggressive the last few nights," Zero stated.  
  
Cain fixed Zero with a stare and folded his arms. Had he been drunk or had Zero been his normal self it would not have had any effect. But Cain was quite sober, making his glare formidable, and Zero was cowed by the nights of torture he had endured.  
  
"H-he-he raped me…" Zero said so softly it was barley audible.  
  
Dr. Cain's eyes bugged out, ruining his stare. "WHAT???!!! Did I just hear you right?!"  
  
"Yes… unfortunately you did," Zero said flatly, his shoulders slumping.   
  
"Why… how… How did this happen?" Dr. Cain asked in an amazed tone.   
  
Zero winced and a snide comment about the birds, bees and anal sex died before the thought to make such a comment completely spawned in his mind. He really didn't want to tell Dr. Cain about their relationship…   
  
"Zero… are you sure you didn't get these in battle?" It was a stupid question since Cain knew that Zero hadn't even gone on patrol since the ambush.  
  
Zero's face flushed red with anger and embarrassment. "YES I'M DAMN SURE I DIDN'T GET THESE IN BATTLE!" Zero yelled. He sighed heavily. "All right… I'll tell you everything. 'Cause I'm scared for X… and for me." Zero paced uncomfortably. "X and I… are in a relationship. We… we've been together for almost six months… And at first everything was fine… but now…" Zero rubbed his eyes, stopping the tears before they started and clearing them of sleep. He had cried under X the last three nights, but he wouldn't give his tears to anyone anymore unless he had to. "Something happened that day that he almost got killed by Vile. I know SOMETHING is wrong… X has never hurt me like this before…" A bit of the old steel, some of his lost will, reasserted its self in Zero's backbone, and he stated, "I want him analyzed to see if the Maverick Virus is in him."   
  
Dr. Cain was shocked. Zero's story was unbelievable, but others had been muttering about X's attitude change. "Zero…"   
  
"I'm demanding this as a unit leader. It's my right to do so." Zero shivered and then turned his eyes to Dr. Cain. "Please Dr. Cain… you have to help us!" Zero pleaded suddenly. "I'm so worried about him…"   
  
Dr. Cain's eyes widened. Finally, he smiled warmly at the Crimson Hunter. "All right Zero. I'll help you out."   
  
* * * *  
  
Zero felt almost sick as he walked down to his room. Honestly, he was a bit scared of confronting X. But, he cared about him and HAD to help him.   
  
Zero poked his head in the room and smiled at his friend. "Hey X…"   
  
X sighed and put down the paperwork he'd been organizing. "Zero… what a pleasant surprise to see you here…"   
  
Zero cringed away from X as he looked at him and cut him off before he could suggest anything wanton. "I… I just came to tell you that Dr. Cain wants to see us. Stat."   
  
X frowned. "Oh… is that all?" X slowly stood and stretched his back. "Ah… well. All right. I needed a break anyway." He walked over to the door. "Let's go."   
  
They walked in sync, just like before, as if nothing was wrong, and for a moment Zero could convince himself it was the case, that nothing had happened and that it was all a bad dream. But the pain, it was real. Soon, he whispered to himself in his mind. Soon all it will be is a bad memory, even less, a nightmare.  
  
X walked a little bit closer to Zero and said in a low voice, "I missed you last night…"  
  
Zero shivered in his armor and recoiled away from X.  
  
X grinned. "Don't worry, we'll make up for lost time tonight."  
  
All Zero could manage was a strangled whimper.  
  
* * * *  
  
They walked though the door way together. "You needed som--?" was all that managed to get out of X's mouth before he was knocked out by a reploid standing just inside the doorway.  
  
He looked down at X, then up at Zero. "Don't worry sir, soon everything will be back to normal."  
  
Zero smiled weakly in return.  
  
While X was out they strapped him to an examining table and then the other reploid left. Zero sat up on another table and hugged his knees to his chest.  
  
"He has to be up for me to run the test you know… Are you sure you want to be here?"  
  
Zero nodded and Dr. Cain brought X out of stasis lock by flicking his power switch instead of his usual method.  
  
Pure fury blew over X's features for a moment, then composed into something approaching normal. "Is something wrong Doc?" X asked as his gaze was locked upon Zero's unmoving form.  
  
"Nothing much," the doctor answered in a nonchalant tone. "You don't mind if we test you for the Maverick Virus, do you?"  
  
X snorted softly. Do I mind? You have me strapped to a table, jackass! "Not at all, Doc."  
  
All the tests came out negative, every signal one. Zero looked more dejected, and hugged his knees tighter. X looked victorious and smirked up at Zero. And Dr. Cain just looked puzzled.  
  
"Something isn't right. I'm going to do a full scan." He pressed the button for the scan to begin.   
  
X's cool and confident attitude evaporated. "No!" X growled furiously and thrashed wildly. One of the metal restraints holding his arm down groaned and screamed then broke open. Hate filled his eyes as he slammed Dr. Cain in the face, knocking him unconscious.   
  
Zero froze up. He was too terrified to run to the doctor's side and see if he was all right. His eyes slowly turned to X.   
  
X glared at Zero. "Zero! Let me out of here!"  
  
Zero didn't move.   
  
"DAMN YOU!" X roared. He clenched his teeth with exertion and the remaining restraint around his arm broke open. Quickly after that he ripped the two restraints around his boots off. X stood.   
  
Zero's face went pale. He backed away, eyes dead with terror.   
  
X glanced down at the doctor. "Fool," he snorted. X looked back up at Zero. His expression was unreadable.   
  
"X…" Zero whispered. "I was only… trying to help you… Please…"   
  
X shook his head slowly, disgusted. "How dare you?" he asked breathlessly. "I can't believe this." X narrowed his eyes.   
  
"What… what are you going to do?" Zero dared to ask.   
  
X stepped forward and grabbed Zero's arm tightly. He smirked. "I'm going to kill you and rape your cold, dead body."   
  
Zero's whole body trembled uncontrollably. Tears glistened in his eyes. His will was gone. It had taken all he had to bring X here. Zero whimpered pitifully, unable to fight back.   
  
Dr. Cain slowly opened his eyes. He touched his forehead to feel hot, sticky blood. He suddenly remembered…  
  
X!  
  
Even if Dr. Cain hadn't heard X's remark, or even been hit, he would have known something was wrong, the computer had IDed the brain pattern. It was Sigma's.   
  
Dr. Cain weakly forced himself to his feet. The scene in front of him horrified him.   
  
X had his back turned to him. One hand held Zero to the wall and the other was wrapped tightly around his neck.   
  
Zero's eyes were shut tightly. Soft sobs escaped from his battered body as X slowly and agonizingly strangled him, intent on crushing his spinal cord. Zero wasn't even attempting to struggle.   
  
Dr. Cain pulled an energy trank gun from his desk and leveled it at X's head.   
  
X whirled around. "YOU!" he spat. "You are supposed to be DEAD!"   
  
"So are you," Dr. Cain wheezed. He pulled the trigger.   
  
A spasm of pain surged through X. His hold on Zero slackened and eventually dropped completely.   
  
Zero opened his eyes in surprise when X had stopped. He gasped as he saw X lying on the ground unconscious.   
  
Dr. Cain stared at him with uncertain eyes. Why hadn't he fought back? Dr. Cain noticed ugly fingerprint bruises around Zero's neck. "Oh Zero…" he whispered.   
  
Zero drew in a labored breath. "X…" he said in a raspy voice.   
  
Dr. Cain sighed softly. He examined the computer closely. "Just as I thought… Sigma."   
  
Zero's eyes widened.   
  
Dr. Cain kneeled down beside X. "Where is it?" he murmured to himself. He searched X over along his spine.   
  
Zero sniffled and hugged his knees tighter. He looked ashen and dejected.   
  
"Here it is!" Dr. Cain cut open and pulled back some of X's synth-skin and plucked something out. He stood with a small chip in his fingers. "This was controlling X."   
  
"What is it?" Zero asked in a whisper.   
  
"This thing is called a Restrain Chip. What it does is restrain the impulses in a reploid's brain wave and substitutes--transplants is a better word, another brain wave though a relay. It was outlawed, except for extreme medical emergencies, since the technology for it came out." Dr. Cain paused and thought it over for a moment. "Since then most reploids were built so the things can't be put on them, but X is the first model, and technology hasn't changed much since him so no one thought of upgrading that part of him."  
  
Zero looked up at Dr. Cain.  
  
"Vile probably implanted it on X that day he was ambushed in the warehouse. Sigma has been in control of X. It's like the Maverick Virus, only much easier to operate. The Maverick Virus can be unpredictable… And it is possible to fight the Sigma virus-but with this Sigma had complete control over X with no chance of him being able to override him." He waved the thing in the air. "With this, Sigma was X. However, it is very easy to remove, as you can see." Dr. Cain smiled halfheartedly. He handed it to Zero.   
  
Zero frowned as he held it in his hand. Fresh tears filled his eyes. He clenched a fist, crushing the chip to nothing in the palm of his hand.   
  
Dr. Cain put a comforting hand on Zero's shoulder. "It's over now. X is back to normal." He glanced down at him. "Do you want me to wake him up?"   
  
"Does… does X know what happened? What he did to me?"   
  
Dr. Cain nodded slowly. "He saw everything."   
  
Zero bit his bottom lip. "Wake… wake X up…" he said in a broken voice.   
  
"Okay…" Dr. Cain whacked X VERY HARD over the head with his cane.   
  
"OW!"   
  
Zero couldn't help but smile slightly.   
  
X shot up. He glanced down at his hands and flexed them, amazed that they were moving under his command. Then he looked all around the room. "I'm back."   
  
"Yup," Dr. Cain grumbled. "You put us through a lot of hell X."   
  
"It wasn't ME!" X objected. He sniffed.   
  
"Some more than others…" Dr. Cain motioned towards Zero.   
  
X stared up at his best friend. "Oh Z…"  
  
Zero cringed and drew back, shivering. He looked like he was to small for his armor, like he was hiding in it. He was a wraith, a pale shadow of what he had been.  
  
"I… I'm so sorry…" X shakily climbed to his feet. He tried to look Zero in the eyes, but he wouldn't acknowledge him and turned his head away. "Can you ever forgive me?"   
  
Zero didn't answer.   
  
X sighed heavily. "So Doc… you know everything now?"   
  
Dr. Cain grinned. "All I need now is my own TV show where I can discuss your mating habits!" He seemed thrilled by this.   
  
"That's not funny," X said hotly. He turned back to Zero. "Zero… are you all right? I… I couldn't control him… I begged him to stop…"   
  
Zero slowly shifted to the right a bit, giving X room to sit down beside him.   
  
X was somewhat relieved. "Um, Doc? Could you leave us alone for awhile?"   
  
"Fine. I've got to go get some ice for my head anyway." Dr. Cain stumbled out the door.   
  
X hesitantly sat down next to Zero. "I'm so sorry…" he said again. He gently put an arm around Zero and pulled him close. "I feel so horrible…"   
  
Zero flinched but submitted to the embrace, his muscles instantly loosening-not because he was calm, but because it hurt less when you were hit. The fear and pain he had experienced in the last few days were still fresh in his mind. Would he ever be able to trust X again? Was he even mentally capable of it?  
  
No longer did the presence of his best friend comfort him. No longer did his touch make him relax. Now it was fear and depression.  
  
Everything was the same; there was no difference from the removal of the chip. That body had degraded him. That voice had cursed him. Those hands had hurt him over and over again.  
  
Zero wondered if the eyes were the same, but he was too afraid to look.  



	4. Degero Vivificus Amor

I'm not saying it again!  
  
Chapter Four: Degero Vivificus Amor  
  
  
  
They had both been put on medical leave and given separate rooms, though no one except Dr. Cain, and a few others, truly knew why.  
  
Within two weeks X had been jumped up to light duty and back into full time. Actually, he had demanded it. Zero was still on light duty, paper work, but only technically since they weren't giving him any. The last paperwork they had given him to do were some reports. Maverick kills were at an all time low, there was mention of morale being down. Zero knew why, it was because of him, they knew something was wrong but not what and it was affecting the Hunters as a whole.  
  
The report had also said that X's personal kills were at an all time high, through the roof actually. He had cleared out entire sections of the city and Maverick outposts all by himself. He was looking for Sigma's new headquarters. The Blue Bomber was angry, Zero was happy that he wasn't angry with him.  
  
When he had entered the forums, he had never gotten any more. Zero assumed that they figured that they were too stressful for him; that they made him worry, which they did.   
  
Since that time in the lab, Zero had avoided X, had avoided everyone, and X had given him his space and stayed away. But Zero couldn't take it, take anything, anymore. The confused, or worse, pitying stares of those few who had an inkling or more of the truth. Dr. Cain trying to get him to talk about it, but he had refused. How could anyone talk about being raped and then having to accept your rapist back to normal? The sight of X or the sound of his voice made him recoil. How could he talk about that?  
  
He couldn't fight anymore. He had tried to do his daily exercise, his katas, but the movements were forced, clumsy, and empty. He feared the Mavericks; he feared that they would do it again to him, or X, or anyone else, despite Dr. Cain's assurances of that everyone would be checked and upgraded. He feared X and everyone else. He couldn't be a Hunter anymore.   
  
He got up decisively, a first in many weeks.  
  
He went though his filing cabinet and pulled out two forums. One was already filled out, the other blank. He caressed the older sheet; it was his sign up forum, the original copy. He read over it and found all of the reasons for joining he had listed were no longer a part of him.  
  
He put it down and pulled out a duffel bag from his closet and opened his draws. Very slowly, very carefully he removed his armor and set it aside. He felt dirty wearing it and though he hated the Mavericks more than ever he could not bear to take it with him. He carefully placed it on the props made to hold it in place. He looked at his Beam Sabre and put it on its wall mount. Then he dressed himself in civilian clothing, jeans and a white T-shirt; you could mistake him for a human. Then he put the rest of his meager belongings into his bag.  
  
He picked up a small square of yellow paper with ink and water stains on it.  
  
I Love You.  
  
His hand tightened on it and he stuffed it into his pocket.  
  
He picked up his signup sheet again, and ripped it in two and threw it into the trash and filled out the resignation form.  
  
* * * *  
  
X leaned back against the wall and gazed absentmindedly at the ceiling. "Damn. I've never been loaded down with so much work before." He had brought most of that work onto himself it was true, going out and killing Mavericks. For the first time in his life he actually rejoiced in the kill, and it frightened him, but he wanted revenge. The Mavericks were work enough, but the endless reports and revaluation of security systems was tedious. They had to get rid of all the surprises Sigma had left for them and redo all the security codes, revamp the entire system and a hundred other things. Fun.  
  
His stomach felt clenched and he sighed softly. He missed Zero. He missed his old life.   
  
The first week after Dr. Cain had removed the chip had been absolute hell. He had been guilt ridden and depressed. But Dr. Cain had forced him to talk about it. For the first week he had been forced to spill his guts, he cried he screamed, he threatened. But Dr. Cain and some of his closer friends had paid him no heed, they were there for him and supported him and showed him that it was not his fault. They had extracted promises from him that he wouldn't go AWOL, that he wouldn't do anything stupid.  
  
That he wouldn't kill himself.  
  
The last promise was the hardest to obtain.  
  
Dr. Cain and his closest friends--except Zero, helped him, a lot. Getting the feelings of horror and helplessness across how it had felt not being in control of himself. Feeling his memories being sorted though without his permission, being forced to watch as his body by the will of another said hello to his friends, reported to his enemies, and raped his best friend, they nearly killed him. They helped him and shared the pain, halving it each time.  
  
Talking, crying, screaming, beating up walls, it all helped, but would have helped more if could have done these things with Zero. But he needed his space.  
  
They hadn't spoken a word to each other in over two weeks. Everyone told X that he was edgy and spooked easily. Truth was, he was worried. Worried about his relationship with Zero. I miss our friendship. Will things ever go back to the way they were?  
  
X rubbed his eyes sleepily. "Where did I leave those human casualties forums from the Mavericks' last attack?" he asked himself.   
  
In his room. He had been up late last night going over them.  
  
X cursed under his breath and started off towards his room.   
  
As he walked down the hallways of the base, his mind drifted back to happier memories.   
  
"X, you're a workaholic."   
  
He could hear Zero's voice lecture him deep in his mind.   
  
"You've been so busy filing papers and reports that you've ignored me all day!"  
  
He almost smiled.   
  
"No, don't you tell me to get lost Mega Man X. I demand that you drop what you're doing RIGHT NOW and come with me to get some ice cream."  
  
X sniffed as he approached his room. He yelped and jumped back as the one he was walking past suddenly flew open.   
  
Zero stood in the doorway. He was dressed in civilian clothes and a duffel bag was in his hands. "X!" he said in a startled voice. "What are you doing here?"  
  
"Last time I checked my room was in this hall too."   
  
Zero just looked at him uncertainly. "Oh. Well, um, I have to get going." He brushed past X quickly.   
  
X grabbed his arm before he could slip away. "Whoa. Wait a second. Where are you going?"   
  
Every muscle in Zero's body tensed. "J-just for a walk."  
  
X eyed the duffel bag in his hands. And the paper he was holding. "If you're going to lie to me, at least make it good."   
  
Zero cringed. X's words sounded dangerous. Suddenly, he was angry. "You want the truth X?" he spat. "Fine. I'm going to Dr. Cain's office to give him my resignation forum. I quit. I don't… can't be a Hunter anymore."   
  
X felt as if he had been slapped in the face. "What did you say?" he whispered.   
  
"You heard me." Zero pulled his arm away from the suddenly loose grip. "Goodbye." He started to walk away from X again.   
  
X was too stunned to move for a moment. He had never expected that Zero would resign. Never. He'd always thought Zero was so strong. That he could handle anything. That's why X looked up to him.   
  
But it seemed as if X would have to be the bigger reploid this time.   
  
X turned back towards Zero. "No."   
  
Zero stopped. Why did I have to run into X? Why?  
  
X stepped in front of him. "You're not going anywhere."   
  
Memories, all of them bad, bombarded Zero and he backed away, eyes clouded, unable to tell past from present, his eyes burning though clouds of fear. "Please… let me go…please…don't hurt me…" he pleaded softly, the last part strained and torn form a dying man's throat.   
  
"What's the matter with you?" X roared suddenly, his ire hitting him hard. "I never thought you could be so weak! You keep acting like everything that happened was my fault. It's over now!"   
  
Tears filled Zero's eyes. He trembled and whimpered.   
  
X wasn't done. "I can't believe you. You know, you're really starting to piss me off Zero. It wasn't just you that had to go through hell. I had my own version of it. In case you forgot, I was trapped inside my own body while my most hated enemy controlled everything I did! How do you think I felt while I watched him rape you? Not too good. You don't see me whining about it, do you?"   
  
"How could you ever understand?" Zero cried. "You weren't on the receiving end! You knew what was happening, I didn't! You knew I wasn't hurting you, you knew you weren't hurting me. To me, it wasn't someone else; it was you! Now move, I'm leaving. I can't take this anymore!"   
  
X realized even when Zero had snapped at him in anger he still had refused to look him in the eyes.  
  
"That's it." X grabbed Zero's arm. He tossed him back into the room roughly.   
Zero fell to the floor of what used to be their room heavily. He curled into a tight ball in one corner and covered his head.  
  
"I'm sorry Zero," X said sincerely. "But I really need to knock some sense into you." X cracked his knuckles meditatively.  
  
Zero stared up at him in horror. Terror, hopelessness, and despair filled every space in his heart. This image, X standing above him while he was curled up in a corner, helpless, it was too familiar. Like the words X had spoken in the lab.  
  
X walked into the room, closing the door and locking it behind him.   
  
Tears rolled down Zero's cheeks. He was too petrified to move. He wanted to run, but he couldn't. What was X going to do to him this time?   
  
X looked down at him with pity in his eyes. "If only you could see yourself. Frankly, it's quite sickening."  
  
But I care about you X! I care about you more than anything in the world! You hurt me and my heart broke. Do you know how it feels to have the one person you truly trusted and love betray you and RAPE you? My God X, it's an awful feeling.   
  
Zero's mind cried out but his voice was only a small whimper.   
  
X kneeled down beside him. "You're stronger than this. Stop feeling sorry for yourself."   
  
I love you X. I always have, and I could never stop loving you, no matter what. Do you still love me? I think that's what I'm really afraid of.   
  
X gently reached out and ran his fingers through Zero's golden bangs. Then, he traced the back of his thumb down his cheek. "You don't deserve to be miserable like this. And God help me, I wish I knew how to make things better."   
  
Zero sniffled. Slowly, he put his hand over X's.   
  
"You can't leave me Zero," X spoke soothingly. "You promised that you would protect me. Remember?"   
  
Zero nodded. He shivered and fought back tears.   
  
"You wouldn't break that promise to me, would you? You know something, you have protected me. I'm so grateful to you, Z. You are the only reason I've been able to accept my life as a Hunter. You. Because you've always been beside me. You've always given me strength. As my partner, as my best friend, and as the one I love." X breathed heavily. "I'm so sorry…" X pulled Zero into a tight embrace. Tears seeped out of his eyes. "I miss you Zero. Please… please don't leave me again… Come back…Come back to me."   
  
Zero cringed a bit, but allowed X to hold him. A bit of his fear lifted and he willed himself to hug X back.   
  
"Can you forgive me? Can we be friends again?" X asked softly.   
  
For the first time in almost a month, Zero gazed straight into X's eyes. There was no longer the burning desire for him anymore. Or the hate. Just… concern. The fear Zero had been feeling so deeply felt far off. He almost felt as if he could forgive X right then.  
  
"You have to bounce back to your old self, Z. Do you know how much it's killing me to see you like this? I almost feel sorry for all the Mavericks I've killed lately."   
  
A violent shudder ripped though his body; he was just so tired. Terror took a lot out of a person and he had been unable to get any sleep because of his nightmares. It didn't matter if he slept in a bed or in a pod. In fact, it was worse in the pod because he always 'woke up' in the beginning of the dream and it made it hard to tell dream from reality. He leaned onto X.  
  
"I was afraid of you, you know?"  
  
X looked down at him. He knew that, but he hadn't expected Zero to talk or even to be able to talk about it.  
  
"And not for all the reasons you know." He took X's hand in his own and spread the fingers and caressed the back before continuing in his emotionless voice. "Everything was the same." He twined their fingers together. "Same hands, same voice, same body," Zero choked but continued on, "and I was afraid, so afraid, that if I looked at your eyes they would be the same as well." His hand tightened. "I think in my own perverse way I was keeping a little of my hope alive." Zero closed his eyes; he didn't clench them but simply closed them for the first time in weeks.  
  
X blinked back tears and wrapped his arm around Zero and pulled him closer, still holding his hand.  
  
"But now it's different, it feels different." Zero realized what he felt as he said it and searched for what was missing. But it was more than what was missing. Something was back. That feeling of calm and comfort was but a pale shadow of its former self, but it was back. He, the Crimson Hunter, Zero, cuddled closer to X and yawned.  
  
"You tired?"  
  
Zero nodded and felt himself falling asleep.  
  
"Come on," X said as he picked him up in both arms. He looked down at Zero and had to still a laugh. "You look like a damsel in distress, you know." Something flashed in Zero's silted eyes as he glared up at X, and X identified it. Crossness and amusement. X laughed softly and set Zero in his unmade bed and tucked him in. "Sleep," he whispered and kissed Zero's forehead.  
  
"Thank you X… I'm… still worried about nightmares, though," Zero said honestly.   
  
"Shall I stay with my princess then?" X asked, smiling slightly as Zero snorted at his new nickname. He kneeled down beside the bed and took Zero's hand in his. "I'll make sure you sleep well."   
  
"You mean… you'd stay with me the whole night?"   
  
"Of course I will." X's eyes half-closed. Anything to make you feel better…  
  
Zero pulled X closer to him with his arm. "I love you."   
  
X squeezed his hand. "I love you too."   
  
Zero smiled genuinely, and a few tears filled his eyes. They weren't tears of fear or sadness though. They were tears of relief and joy.   
  
"That's the first smile you've given me in a long time Zero." X gently wiped away his friends tears. "Sleep Zero, I'll watch over you."   
  
X is back. He's really back…  
  
And maybe…so am I.  
  
Zero reached down and pulled the crumpled yellow paper out of his pocket.   
  
I Love You.  
  
"What's that?" X asked.   
  
"Remember how we used to always pass love notes to each other?" Zero handed it to X. "This was the very first one you gave me after I told you I was in love with you."   
  
X smiled. "Yeah, I remember that. I guess I was kind of lost for words…"   
  
"It didn't matter. It came from your heart. That's why I've always kept it with me wherever I went." Zero sighed softly, sleep making his eyelids heavy.   
  
"Good night Zero," X whispered. X gave him one last kiss on the forehead. "Sweet dreams."   
  
Zero closed his eyes. He felt that maybe he could have sweet dreams with X beside him. "Good night X… Thanks for making me feel better…" He drifted off into a peaceful sleep.   
  
X touched the side of his face softly. Zero looked like an angel. A beautiful, sweet, perfect angel. And it's me he's in love with… Damn, I'm lucky.   
  
* * * *  
  
Zero did have nightmares but instead of X's eyes, so filled with emotion, the eyes were Sigma's, flat, cold, and not X--and that made it all the more easier to cope with. Whenever he drifted into these painful dreams for too long or started thrashing in his sleep a comforting hand brushed his brow and a gentle voice said things that he didn't understand but they made him feel better.  
  
Pleasant dreams came too. Old memories and times of camaraderie were in his dreams in as well. Making him remember the good times and reminding him that they could come again.  
  
When he awoke he felt… lazy. His eyes fluttered open and he looked into X's bright eyes. How different the eyes were, it filled him with hope and relief.  
  
"Sleep well?"  
  
Zero yawned and stretched, nodding his head. "I feel like a new reploid."  
X smiled at him and Zero's eyes feel upon the crumpled post-it note in X's hand. His mouth twisted into a frown. "I'm sorry," he said gesturing to the stained paper for not even a letter remained as they were blurred away by his tears.  
  
X eyes widened in alarm and he looked down at his hand. "No Zero, it's not your fault. And look, it's not ruined, it's a clean slate, see?" X picked a pen off the dresser and wrote on one half of the paper.  
  
_____________________________  
| |  
| |  
| I Love You. |   
| |  
| |  
| |  
| -X |  
| |  
| |  
| |  
|____________________________|  
  
Zero took the paper from him and smiled at it, then he gently tugged the pen out of X's hand and wrote something down on the post-it note.  
  
  
  
_____________________________  
| |  
| |  
| I Love You. I Love You. |   
| |  
| |  
| |  
| -Zero -X |  
| |  
| |  
| |  
|_____________________________|  
  
  
In a fit of fancy drew a heart around it, and with a slight blush staining his nose he showed X.   
  
"Oh Zero…" X whispered.   
  
Zero shrugged helplessly, then his eyes widened as X tore it in half. "X!?"  
  
"Don't worry." He handed him half of the paper and showed him his half.  
  
"X…"  
  
X smiled at him. "Now we both have one half of our heart. Mine reminds me that you love me and your half reminds you that I love you just as much. Don't ever forget that."   
  
Zero sat up and shook his head. His blond hair swayed. "How could I?" With a grin, he wrapped his arms around X's neck and kissed him on the cheek.   
  
X sighed and kissed him back. He's going to be okay. X gently wrapped his arms around Zero's waist.   
  
Zero nuzzled under his chin. "You know what? We need a vacation."   
  
"Hey… you're right. Now would be a pretty good time to take one too." X looked thoughtful. "We don't know where Sigma's hiding… and there hasn't been any Maverick attacks at all."  
  
"They're all scared of you," Zero murmured.   
  
X sniffed. "A lot of people have been scared of me lately…"   
  
"Well… I'm not," Zero stated.   
  
"Oh, you aren't afraid that I'm going rape you anymore?" X asked lightly. "That's nice to know."   
  
Zero lifted his head and their noses brushed together.   
  
X jerked back slightly. "Sorry…"   
  
Zero sighed and pulled himself closer to X. "I'm not going to lie, it still hurts, and I wouldn't be surprised that if I woke up and saw you I might freak. But now… now my heart knows that you didn't do those things to me."   
  
"And your head?"  
  
"I think I understand your intentions now," he said softly. Then he was suddenly somber. "It's my instincts that need to get used to you again."  
  
"Don't worry Zero," X said and kissed him on the lips. X abruptly stopped and pulled away as he realized what he did. "S-sorry…"  
  
Zero only laughed and kissed X back-on the cheek. "Just don't wake me up or surprise me like that for awhile, okay?" He kissed his nose. "Now, about that vacation X…?"  
  
"Oh! Yeah, I think I could arrange something. It would be good to spend a little time alone with you…" X smiled. "Let's go ask Dr. Cain."   
  
Zero suddenly remembered that he had been on his way to see Dr. Cain just some hours ago. He'd been about ready to resign. He glanced at the resignation forum that was lying on the floor.   
  
X followed his eyes. "Still want to resign, Z?"   
  
"Hell no!"   
  
Hm, wasn't THAT hard to talk him out of it.   
  
"It's about time things got back to normal X… I missed you," Zero said.   
  
"I missed you too." X slowly stood, his legs stiff from kneeling all night. "Ow…"   
  
"Thank you for watching over me…" Zero sighed softly.   
  
"No problem." X grabbed Zero's hand and helped pull him out of bed.  
  
"Ugh. I need to change," Zero said eying his wrinkled clothes. "Then we can go see Dr. Cain."  
  
"Okay. He'll be glad to see you're feeling better."   
  
Zero picked up the resignation form and ripped it in two. "What was I thinking? Good thing you came along."   
  
* * * *  
  
Zero came out from the bathroom and ran his hand though his freshly combed hair. He wasn't ready to be with X again with anything else much beyond a kiss or a hug. Before, when either of them had to change and they had time, they would undress and dress the other or they would have done strip teases. But he wasn't ready to be seductive; to invite touch upon himself.  
  
X, sweet wonderful X, had understood and had given him space, giving him a small smile that had said 'I understand.' He had even left the room entirely on a claim that he had to pack his bags and change his clothing when they both knew he could just send his armor away since he hadn't taken it off manually. As for the bags, well they need at most three changes and that's it, as reploids don't have to change as much as humans since they mostly lack body odor.  
  
He kneeled down and unpacked his bag and then packed a smaller carryall with a reploid's necessities. He glanced up at his armor, should he send to storage so he could summon it if and when he needed it?  
  
It was better to be safe than sorry and it wasn't like he had to wear it all the time. Quickly he latched the armor uncomfortably over his street clothes then touched his right wrist sending it all into storage and leaving him in plain clothing. He reached into the back of his closet and pulled out his other helmet. It had been made to bear a resemblance to his combat one in color and a bit in design but it was nothing to stare at. He removed the latch on the bottom back of it and then closed the latch behind his head, enfolding his ponytail comfortably.  
He pulled out his leather jacket and shrugged it on then picked up his saddlebag and went outside to meet X.   
  
X's door was still closed. "Hey X! Are you almost done?" Zero called to him.   
  
"Um… almost."  
  
"Well hurry up! Don't make me wait for you out here all day!"  
  
X smiled inwardly and made sure the tube was well hidden. He wouldn't need it anytime soon, but if, when, when he gets better, he told himself, it would be good to be prepared. He opened the door to see that he was dressed as Zero was in civilian clothes. "I'm here."   
  
"All packed?"  
  
X nodded. He carried a saddlebag similar to Zero's. "Let's go give the old man a heart attack."   
  
Zero snickered. "The poor guy will probably think we're both resigning."   
  
* * * *  
  
Dr. Cain did almost have a heart attack. As soon as both reploids walked into his office dressed as if they were off duty and carrying their belongings, he went pale. "What's going on???"   
  
"Chill out, Doc. Zero and I are just going to go on vacation for awhile," X said calmly.   
  
Dr. Cain started to breathe again. "Oh… oh okay." He looked curiously up at Zero. "Are you all right?"   
  
Zero smiled. "Better than I was. X and I have… um… bonded again."   
  
Dr. Cain looked at them. "Ah. X, you really can't just get up and leave. What if something happens while your gone?"   
  
X sighed. "If something happens you call me and I'll be here right away. I'll still be on duty."   
  
"What about you, Zero?"   
  
"Um… I don't think I'm up to fighting again yet," he said truthfully.   
  
"Well… you guys are all packed up… where are you going?" Dr. Cain asked.   
  
Both reploids looked at each other. They had no clue. It had never occurred to them they had to decide where to go on their vacation until now.   
  
"Oh jeez…" X started, "I really have no--"  
  
"We're going to America!" Zero blurted out. "I've always wanted to go!"   
  
Dr. Cain looked at him like he was ludicrous.   
  
X felt the same way, but Zero was so excited. "Why not? Let's tour America! Anything for my princess," he said affectionately.   
  
Zero scowled at him. "Is 'princess' your new pet name for me?"   
  
X grinned and nodded. "It suits you."   
  
Zero sniffed angrily. It would take him a while to get used to this.   
  
"Would you prefer Zero Hime, Repliodzel?"   
  
Zero gave him a death glare.  
  
X turned back to Dr. Cain. "All right, America it is. You'll call me if anything comes up, besides, there are Mavs in America too and the Hunters up there would probably appreciate our help. But other than that…" X lowered his voice to a whisper. "I want to spend as much time with Zero alone as possible."   
  
Dr. Cain nodded, still not quite believing what he was hearing, and mildly disturbed at how threading X sounded. "Okay… I guess…"   
  
"Then let's get going."   
  
So they left for MHHQ garage and got their bikes. First stop after that was the Bank. Hunters didn't make a lot of money but all their expenses were paid for so they never spent anything unless it was for pleasure's sake. As it was he and X had a lot of money. Hazard pay really added up.  
  
It was fun seeing the bank clerk's--and everyone else's, eyes widen like that. They barely made a scratch in their accounts with the million each that they withdrew. They called ahead to get tickets on a plane for themselves and space for their bikes then went to the airport.  
  
Once there, no one had really recognized them since they always wore their armor. Though a few people did give Zero's ponytail and nervous fidgeting strange looks.  
  
Finally they were seated, first class, no less, their saddlebags kicked under the seats in front of them. X patted Zero's hand and picked it up and kissed it. They looked into each other's eyes and smiled.  
  
Soon X drifted off as Zero's euphoria of having his best friend back wore off. He slowly became edgy again, not daring to sleep because of the nightmares, the fact that he could be dangerous if he woke up confused and unwilling to wake X up to keep him company.  
  
So he shifted restlessly in his chair, constantly eating honey roasted peanuts, his eyes darting around looking for something though he knew not what.  
  
He was left alone with his memories, and they plagued him constantly. He looked at X every now and then to reassure himself, and it worked, sometimes.  
  
Other times he was sure it was Sigma, just acting again, but he dismissed the notion. Sigma was a bad actor and the only reason he had gotten away with his ploy for so long was because he, Zero, had not wanted to hurt X.  
  
They landed, none too soon for Zero and they made their way off the plane. They had a little trouble at customs, Hover bikes were fine, their armor summons were not.  
  
Thus they were dragged into a small room, though Zero had a hard time with it and stayed very close to the door, and were basically interrogated.  
  
"I'm sorry sir, but reploids are not allowed to cross international borders with armor summons, it's to cut down on maverick activity."  
  
"But we're not Mavericks, we're Hunters here on an 'extended paid leave,'" X drawled out the last part. Don't these idiots know a hero when they see them?  
  
"I'm sorry sir, but only the top individual officers of the Maverick Hunters have the authority to move between international boarders with their armor, anyone else needs special permission."  
  
X bit his lower lip and looked at Zero trying not to laugh. He turned back to the man in uniform, "We are allowed."  
  
"I'll need to see some Identification, sir." The tone was doubtful.  
  
X snatched back his armor summons and slammed it on his wrist even as the officer drew his gun. X summoned his armor and the human froze.  
  
"S-Sir!" He holstered his gun, "So Very Sorry Commander X," you could hear his capitals as he glanced at Zero and his eyes widened, finally taking in his hair and putting two and two together, "Commander Zero."  
  
"It's fine," X banished his armor and waved the human away, "We'll be fine, just try not to let the public know? We're on vacation after all"  
  
Soon enough they were on the road…Well over it at least. Civilian hover bikes had less of a boost drive and less jump than ones for the military and the Hunters. It was to cut down damage to property, gangs used to race motorcycles over cars, imagine what the forward jet would do?  
  
But their bikes were not civilian, in fact they were most likely a bit better than money could buy considering all the tinkering they and Cain did on them.  
  
I had taken a while to urge Zero into taking the 'fast way.' However, X judged the best way for him to get his confidence back was to slowly take on the little things that made him a jer-Zero. To slowly get him to do things that he would have done on his own-even if X had to lead him though it.  
  
Thus they jumped over cars, cut them off, and fairly flew over the squares when they got a red light. Basically they were being irresponsible and enjoying it.  
  
And considering how Zero cowered away from him half the time X was overjoyed when Zero gave a policeman the finger.  
  
They reached the hotel after leading the police man on a merry little chase that X had insisted on, taking upon himself to act as Zero would. Then stepping back to let Zero lead as he started to enjoy himself.  
  
Stepping into the lobby X glanced at his friend who was no longer as skittish as he was at HQ, or even the airport. He had stopped fidgeting and glancing nervously around or at him with shaded fear. True he took note of all escape routes when they came in and scanned the room periodically, but it was a huge improvement.  
  
It's the little things. The little things we will build up upon to make him whole again.  
  
They checked in for their penthouse, under aliases of course. It was simple enough-getting up was another matter all together. Zero would not consent into going into a small box of a room without an exit-especially with him.  
  
Damn.  
  
"C'mon, I'll race you up the stairs."  
  
Green eyes widened and stared at him, then a smile curled his lips and Zero nodded. "Let's go."  
  
Soon they were racing up the stairs, jumping from wall to wall to climb up. If they had been doing this before Zero probably would have dragged him outside to climb up the side of the building and to climb in through the window. And in either case he would be pulling him down, pushing and shoving, even trying to throw him down. Instead Zero was simply keeping pace half a flight below him.  
  
If Sigma hadn't interfered they might be making out in the stairwell right now.  
  
And that's not going to happen anytime soon. Now he's keeping a safe distance away so if I turn on him he has a good head start.  
  
This sucks.  
  
I hate Sigma.  
  
* * * *  
  
They entered the room and threw down their things before looking up.  
  
There weren't any pods to sleep in  
  
There was just one bed, one large, overstuffed, bed.  
  
Suddenly the room was tenser than it was before.  
  
"I-I'll sleep on the couch, it must fold out," X Hurried to the couch and began to nervously toss the cushions away as he looked for the pull out bed in it.  
  
Zero watched the hands nervously flit about, almost compulsively. He shifted uncomfortably.  
  
He looks nervous, why is he nervous? Why am I nervous?  
  
He watched the hands, rhythmic almost in their flurry of movement.  
  
Gentle fingers on his cheek.  
  
Rough fist ripping at his hair.  
  
He found himself fidgeting again, and compulsively...  
  
"X."  
  
A pause in the movement. "Ah-" X's voice cracked, and he cleared it uncomfortably. "Y-yes?"  
  
"You...you don't have to. It's fine."  
  
X blinked, and stared at the mess before him.  
  
"I don't mind...I..."  
  
That voice, the same kind voice, telling him he was a worthless whore.  
  
I trust you.  
  
X then looked up, and their eyes locked for a moment.  
  
I need to.  
  
Blue on green.  
  
He saw something tremble and X broke the momentary gaze.  
  
"No, I think it's better if we do it like this. You need to be alone, and if you have a nightmare I'll be close by."  
  
"X..."  
  
"It's okay, Zero."  
  
He heard the soft assurance in the voice...but it sounded...  
  
"No."  
  
"Zero..."  
  
"...we can sleep together."   
  
Blood. Sickening amounts of it. It was all his own.  
  
"Please?"  
  
"...If...if you want...I'm..."  
  
"You're what, X?"  
  
"...I'm...sorry..."  
  
"What for?"  
  
"Don't ask me that!" X turned and looked at him with wild eyes. "What I did to y--"  
  
"Stop! You didn't do anything! You yourself told me that, and my head knows it even if the rest of me is having trouble. D-Don--"  
  
"Gomen, Zero…We are both tired…let's get some sleep."  
  
Zero nodded and held his elbows as an excuse to hug himself. X slowly guided him over to the bed and they laid down together.  
  
"Uh-X, m-maybe y-you sh-should b-be b-b-behin-ned m-me," Zero stammered, his discomfort, his fear manifesting in his carriage and voice.  
  
X shuddered and slipped behind him. He knew why Zero suggested it, he remembered.  
  
On the Second Day God Separated water from the sky.  
  
On the second night Sigma decided he would like to wake up and see Zero's face, so he held him tight as they slept, facing each other.  
  
On the Third Day God Created the Land and Plants.  
  
On the third morning Zero had a nightmare, dreaming of who knows what horrors. And half asleep he trashed and kicked at Sigma, bruising him greatly. Zero rolled off the bed half-tangled in the bed sheets. He reached X's discarded armor and forced the buffer over his arm and transformed it into a plasma cannon-and pointed it at Sigma's head.  
  
X cheered inside of Sigma's head, even as the scent of burning synth-flesh filled the air as the circuits optimized for X's structured tried to pull too much energy out of Zero's system.  
  
Zero's eyes widened and he looked at him, then at the buster, then threw it off.  
  
For the entirety of the third day and well into the third night Sigma raped and beat Zero behind sound proof walls while Zero sobbed and screamed "I'm sorry!"  
  
Sometime in the middle of the day of torture Zero tried to push Sigma away, to distance himself from the pain just as X stared on in horror.  
  
It earned him another brutal rape.  
  
On the third night, perhaps the beginning of the fourth morning, Sigma finished with Zero and kicked him to the foot of the bed to sleep there like a dog.  
  
And as X came out of his near catatonic state he was forced back in to it by what he heard Zero say as he cried.  
  
"I deserved it!"  
  
X shook himself back to the present, if Zero did that again he could seriously hurt him, truly it was a miracle, or a curse, that Sigma had not been damaged badly by Zero's trashings. And in a place like this, he could put holes in the walls or floor and hurt someone else. Belatedly he realized that he should have stayed awake on the plane. But, Zero needed to be restrained in case it happened again.  
  
He tightened his hold.  
  
Gods I'm so sorry.  
  
Zero tensed against him and X blinked before realizing why.  
  
Our hips are touching-my front to his back, dear gods, what memories could this be bringing up?  
  
X knew to well as he had all the memories just from the other side. Biting his lip he reached up over his head and pulled loose a small pillow from the huge pile. He scooted back a bit and put the cushion between their hips then held Zero tight again.  
  
Zero started, "T-thank you," he whispered.  
  
"Anything for you," X whispered back, and it was true.  
  
X remembered something, not from the horror, but from something he had read. It was something from what considered to be one of the greatest true romances of all time. Between to human females if he remembered correctly.  
  
They had many struggles, but they stayed together. One had serious emotional problems, he didn't remember her name, the other one, Jackie Larson, if he remembered correctly, was a very loving person that helped the other one get better.  
  
Why am I thinking of this?  
  
One of them, Jackie, wrote a poem for the other.  
  
He only remembered the last few lines, and he didn't understand till now, how anyone could feel, would have to feel that way. Would have to support the one they love like that.  
  
How did the poem go? It was hard to remember because it didn't rhyme--but he finally understood it.  
  
"Even if you never look at me the way I look at you.  
Even if you never see me at all.  
Just know that I would fight and die,  
I would take all your pain and carry it proudly,  
If it meant that you could love yourself for just one day."  
  
"Thank you X."  
  
They closed their eyes and slept.  
  
~owari~ 


End file.
